In today’s world, online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet someone. This can be jarring for seniors, who spent their earlier dating years in a world without the internet, but online dating also has some surprising benefits. Online dating can be a great choice for seniors because it doesn’t require you to leave your home (great if standing, walking, or driving just isn’t much fun anymore), allows you to meet people you’d never find otherwise, and empowers you to move forward with dating in a comfortable environment at your own pace. Dating can seem like a daunting task for seniors, especially if you have recently been divorced or widowed, but you don’t have to resign yourself to loneliness for the rest of your life. Online dating can give seniors the opportunity to find love, meaning, or even just companionship no matter where you live.
Getting started with online dating, however, isn’t always easy for those who didn’t grow up in our internet world. Luckily for you, Stellar Living has prepared some online dating advice for seniors that will make getting “out there” easy and even fun.
Choosing an Online Dating Platform
The first step to online dating is choosing a platform. Please, don’t just go get on Tinder because it’s the one you’ve heard about! There are tons of online dating platforms out there, many of which are especially designed for seniors. Here are a few we recommend. Please note all of these platforms require a monthly fee for full functionality. In our research, we found that the “free” dating options are simply chock-full of scammers and phishing artists. But don’t worry, you’ll be able to test-drive all of our top picks before you pay a fee.
- eHarmony. This website has been around for over 20 years, during which time many have found success on its platform. It’s great for those looking for a long-term, committed relationship, and it features a lot of “personality matching” technology to show you those with similar goals and interests.
- SilverSingles. This online dating platform is especially for singles over the age of 50, which means you won’t have to fear accidentally being “matched” with a twentysomething! It provides you with a personality test, which it uses to provide you with tailor-made matches daily.
- Match.com. Though it isn’t specifically geared toward seniors, you do choose the age range of people you’d like to see, which makes Match.com a good choice for seniors. It also has advanced matching parameters to help you find what you’re looking for.
There are dozens more options out there. When choosing any online dating platform, pay attention to the pricing structure, compatibility and matching options, privacy policy, and verification services the site uses to make sure its users are real people.
Creating a Profile
Now that you’ve chosen a platform (or three), your next step is creating your online dating profile. Here are a few things to remember when you’re writing your “blurb” or posting pictures.
- Be honest. It doesn’t pay to be anything but fully transparent and authentic in dating apps. Be the full you from the very beginning, and you’re much more likely to have success. Choose flattering pictures, but not overly edited ones or ones that obscure what you really look like. Trust us, there is truly someone out there for everyone, so don’t be afraid to just be yourself.
- Showcase your personality. As an older adult, your matches will hopefully be less focused on appearance and more interested in real connections. Put your personality into your profile so other singles will feel like they have an idea of who you are. Be silly, funny, goofy, serious…let your potential matches see the real you.
- Be clear on your goals and intentions. What are you looking for? Whether you’re looking for a casual acquaintance, new friend, or a future marriage partner, be clear on what you want in a match. There’s nothing worse than finding a meaningful connection, only to learn that they have no interest in a serious relationship while you’re looking for a marriage.
Interacting Online
Communicating online is very different from the in-person interactions you may be used to, and there can be a bit of a learning curve. It can feel a little awkward to “chat” with strangers online, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. These are some tips that may help you get started:
- Be straightforward. Since it’s impossible to tell the tone of voice over text, and you don’t have any nonverbal cues to read, online communication needs to be clear and straightforward. Say what you mean and mean what you say–don’t beat around the bush. Avoid slang or abbreviations that might not be understood by everyone (and especially any you don’t understand yourself!)
- Use Emoticons or Emojis well. Emoticons or Emojis can help you convey your tone of voice over a text message or chat, which is a very useful tool when interacting online. However, don’t overload your messages with excessive or nonsensical Emojis, especially when talking to someone you don’t know well.
- Ask open-ended questions. Keep the conversation going by asking open-ended questions, rather than ones that can be answered with just a “yes” or “no.” Try questions like, “What was the best vacation you ever took?” or “How would you spend your perfect day?”
- Respect boundaries, and enforce your own. If you or your match doesn’t want to talk about a certain subject, like previous marriages or relationships or in-the-bedroom preferences, respect their boundaries and enforce your own. Online safety is important, and you don’t have to disclose any information you’re not comfortable with.
- Read before you send.
- Be patient. Not everyone responds to messages immediately. Don’t take offense if it takes someone a few hours or even a day to respond to messages sometimes.
Online Safety
Scammers and phishers can be found on all dating sites, and there are worse dangers out there for those who don’t practice online safety. Keep these tips in mind:
- Never disclose your address, full name, email address, phone number, or workplace to a stranger. While you’re getting to know someone online, keep concrete details about your physical location vague. Before giving out any of this information, get to know and then video chat with the person to confirm they actually are who they say they are! Keep all communication on the platform itself (rather than by phone, text, or email) until you truly know this person well.
- Never give out money, credit card numbers, passwords, Social Security numbers, bank account numbers, etc. No normal person on a dating site is asking for this kind of thing.
- Report suspicious behavior. If someone is asking for strange information, acting unusual, or seems suspicious, report them through whatever means your online dating platform provides. Trust your gut and avoid anyone who seems off.
- Meet in person safely. Once you’ve gotten to know someone well and video chatted with them, you may want to meet them in person. Always meet for the first time (preferably the second, third, and fourth times as well) in a public place that isn’t too near your home. Be cautious about drinking too much in first meetings as well, because this may impair both your safety and your judgment.
Go Get ‘Em!
Now that you’re well equipped to begin online dating, it’s time to jump into the pool! Have realistic expectations, give it time, and eventually you’ll find that special someone.
Senior online dating not working out for you? Consider senior living. Senior Living communities will provide you with local singles in your same stage of life, and lots of built-in social activities right in your own neighborhood! Tour a Stellar Living community near you today.
